Y’all I can’t believe the “whistleblower assassination” and “literally falling apart in the sky” company is being represented by a man named Rich White
You could not call a character this in a movie because everyone would say “that’s not realistic” and yet!
a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints
Old as shit skinny white woman in bed hooked up to 200 tubes and machines surrounded by her crying family, she looks up towards the eldest daughter and raises her frail hand. Everyone stops, listening raptly. She coughs twice and then clears her throat, and beckons the daughter closer. ‘i should’ve eaten her pussy. I should’ve rawed that roast beast like a rabid dog on its last legs. I would’ve made her bleed you know. She would’ve thought she came so hard that her period started. The squirt would’ve drowned me, but I’d swallow every last drop of rna so I could sequence it for the years to come. They’d have called me the krypt keeper. I would’ve chewed so hard her gynecologist would’ve woke up in the middle of the night sweating like a stuck pig. But I didn’t. That’s why I’m surrounded by you fucking bozos.’ With her final words she breaths her agonol breath and falls backwards before flatlining, leaving her family in the quiet hospice room stunned and teary eyed in the wake of her passing.
unifiedintelligencetaskwhores:
“what does a TARDIS malfunction sound like?”
“idk just dump the entire goofy sound effects library in the span of 10 seconds. That should do it”
the caption did not adequately prepare me
Gatorade:
what an absolute goddamn tragedy that this never aired. aunt freckle i’m so sorry that the world is full of cowards (x)
ME
Truly love the number of people I’ve met that have been like “Well I went to a Catholic school as a kid, which is to say I’m not Catholic” like damn Catholic schools really out here doing the exact opposite of missionary work.
How do they even advertise to parents? “Are you Catholic? Would you like your kids not to be? Send them down to Holy Joe’s and we’ll nip that problem in the bud.”
Real talk why does social interaction feel like you’re trying to get a good grade in being a person
give it up for what i didn’t know before by ada limón everyone please clap for what i didn’t know before by ada limón
hey I’m sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was









